Shaw Wins Gold in Verbal Gymnastics ⇥ community.shaw.ca

Remember that totally craptacular Shaw announcement I wrote about earlier? They finally officially announced the changes to the pricing and service tiers, and it’s like a masterclass in spin:

These new services will introduce faster download speeds and greater value for customers who have our most popular tiers by providing more value per Mbps (Megabits Per Second) download rate.

HS 10 improves to Internet 15
HS 25 improves to Internet 30
BB 50 improves to Internet 60

Sounds good, doesn’t it? Except it’s not like the 50 mbps service becomes 60 mbps for the same price; rather, the 50 mbps service turns into a 60 mbps service for the same price as the outgoing 100 mbps service.

Meanwhile:

We’re pleased to be introducing a new entry-level Internet service, Internet 5, which is well suited to customers who use their Internet for simple web browsing and email.

Who the fuck, exactly, is going to want a 5 mbps service for the same price as the outgoing 10 mbps service?