Apple read the judge’s decision by the letter because, not only does this emphasize how uncool the Samsung tablet is, it’s set in Arial, size 14. If you imagine this as read in a mid-Jersey accent, it’s much more effective.
Also, note that most websites are using the term “apology” to refer to this notice. Indeed, that’s what the link above calls it. But it was never referred to as an apology in the trial or decision; rather, it was called a “notice”. Its purpose, from the perspective of the High Court, was to acknowledge the decision, not to show remorse:
Samsung say that, notwithstanding the fact that Apple have lost this case, they continue to assert that Samsung infringes and that the damage that was caused and has been described there continues to apply. Accordingly, Samsung seek orders that I should require Apple to put on their websites and to put in certain newspapers references to this judgment and a statement that the court has found that the Samsung Galaxy tablets do not infringe.
If you’re wondering why the notice doesn’t have the tone of an apology, or even a non-apology apology, it’s because it wasn’t supposed to in the first place.