In Related News, Claim Chowder Is Now Available in Stupid, and Extra Stupid

Zach Epstein of BGR quoting Topeka Capital Markets analyst Brian White:

… the next iPhone (i.e., likely called the iPhone 5S) that we currently believe will be launched in May/June…

May or June? June is plausible — that’s when WWDC is. May? What the fuck?

White believes the next iPhone will be available in five different colors: pink, yellow, blue, white & silver and black & slate.

Different colours are possible, but unlikely.

He also believes there will be two different screen sizes available on the device, marking the first time Apple has released one phone with multiple display size options.

Are you high?

He continued, noting that multiple screen sizes could allow Apple to better address emerging markets with a lower-cost iPhone.

In Brian White’s world, increased production complexity makes the phone less expensive.