Pixel Envy

Written by Nick Heer.

Helena, the Mysterious Startup

Sam Biddle, Gawker:

Last week, I received a PDF presentation about “Helena,” a new startup boasting a 20-year-old Yale student CEO and connections—so they claim—to some of the most powerful and influential people in the world, from Stanley McChrystal to, uh, Selena Gomez. I spent the better part of last week trying to figure out what the company does—and I’ll level with you, man, I’m still not sure.

I highly recommend reading this pitch deck because it is amazing. It’s jam-packed with words, yet manages to communicate nothing. It is a miasma of buzzwords or, as Biddle puts it, “startup lorem ipsum”.

Really, this is the money quote:

“Will Helena generate money?” This one prompted a sarcastic reply: “When you have staff and office space you do need to fund your operation, so that’s given.”

Staff and office space!? “How will the revenue be generated, exactly?”

“I’ll put that on the list [of questions] to pass through.”

Gold.