Pixel Envy

Written by Nick Heer.

Cupertino, Start Your Photocopiers

Microsoft is apparently the first major company to ship an operating system that supports the middle finger emoji. Despite their history of thinking of the children, I think the Tim Cook Apple might be willing to add it to their OSes as well.

Let me set the scene for you: it’s June 8, at the WWDC 2015 kickoff keynote. Tim Cook is back onstage after a tag team of Federighi and Schiller introducing iOS 9, OS X 10.11, and a new MacBook Pro.

“Did you like everything?” Tim asks, rhetorically. The crowd hollers; a faint voice from the back shouts “we love you Tim!” He grins.

“Well, we have just one more thing to show you.”

Tim presses the “next slide” button on his clicker. Up pops a thirty-foot-tall middle finger emoji. The crowd gasps, then bursts into rapturous applause.

“And it’s in iOS and OS X this fall, just in time to show your friends how you feel about them not upgrading to the new iPhone.” Tim presses the “next slide” button one more time, advancing to a white Apple logo with the middle finger superimposed. “Thank you everyone. We hope you have a fantastic WWDC.”