Apple Made So Much Money in Q1 2015 That They Could Buy Richard Branson, Tie His Legs Together, and Hang Him Upside Down in the Atrium of 1 Infinite Loop While Being Forced to Sing “A Milli” on Loop Day and Night ⇥ sixcolors.com

It’s true. Look it up.

Also, check out what Tim Cook said on the conference call today, particularly:

Demand for iPhone has been staggering, shattering our high expectations, with sales over 74 million units, driven by the unprecedented popularity of iPhone 6 and iPhone 6 Plus. This volume is hard to comprehend. On average, we sold over 34,000 iPhones every hour, 24 hours a day, every day of the quarter.

In 2007, Steve Jobs said that he wanted the iPhone, in 2008, to capture 1% of the worldwide cellphone market, which would have given the company ten million sales over the course of a year. Apple just sold over 1% of everyone on Earth an iPhone in three months. Bananas.

(And, yes, the Apple TV question in Jason Snell’s transcript was from Gene Munster. Collect your prize, reader: a 65″ Apple TV, scheduled for release when Gene Munster stops sobbing into the phone while asking when it’s going to be released.)