Pixel Envy

Written by Nick Heer.

Nation Stunned by Support Document Explaning Ways in Which an Apple Card May Not Look New Forever

Apple:

If your titanium Apple Card comes into contact with hard surfaces or materials, it’s possible that the coating can be damaged.

[…]

Some fabrics, like leather and denim, might cause permanent discoloration that will not wash off.

Dr. Drang:

My complaint is not that the Apple Card may lose its luster in a wallet. I’m not sure anything will maintain its looks when put between sheets of leather and compressed by my butt. My complaint is that Apple wrote a support document that looks absurd and invites snarky comments. Everything Apple does generates derision from Apple haters; this generated derision from Apple’s best customers.

There are many reasons to criticize Apple’s credit card, including its very concept. But its propensity for becoming stained is a remarkably silly complaint. Everything that has been in my wallet for more than a few months looks a little worn, and I wouldn’t expect anything sandwiched in leather and sat on for eight hours a day to behave differently.

If you’ve exhausted a list of possible things to do in the world to the point where you’re spending time cleaning your credit cards, this support article is for you.