Galaxy S5 “Explained” ⇥ global.samsungtomorrow.com

Previous versions of Samsung’s flagship Galaxy line of smartphones were far too confusing for me. You know what I needed? More buzzwords:

To make the Galaxy S5 more ‘Modern Flash’, the designers also designed the basic icons and UX icons in the settings to have a stylish look by creating them in a simpler fashion.

I also wasn’t aware of how much I liked hearing from Derek in marketing:

Talking about the color, the back cover of Samsung’s previous Galaxy series were always “high glossy” or shiny. However, the back cover of the Galaxy S5 is not shiny but shimmery instead, aka the glam look. In fact, to make Galaxy S5 attractive especially to younger users, the designers researched day and night to find the right colors. The white models have a white face, the gold phones are accentuated by a golden frame, and the black devices add depth to their dark exteriors by adding hints of dark grey. After extensive research, they found out that the luster of the color that appeared softly was appealing to consumers in their twenties and thirties.

(Fun side note: does it surprise anyone that Samsung’s “Tomorrow” blog uses a crappy Tynt-esque plugin?)

Despite the buzzword salad, I’m not sure I better understand the design of the Galaxy S5. Perhaps this is because the designers’ information has been filtered through a Samsung Tomorrow blogger. Let’s go to the source: the Samsung Design page for the Galaxy S5:

Verve, vogue and virtuosity have combined to create a new face for Samsung’s iconic GALAXY series. The Samsung GALAXY S5 is the embodiment of a passionate lifestyle.

The “embodiment of a passionate lifestyle”, eh? I guess Casanova would have had an S5. And, truly, nothing screams “Passion and Energy” like a settings screen.

I’m beginning to think this is a Joaquin Phoenix-esque long con.